Listen to your partner if you love them

Listening to your partner

is the best thing to do in your relationship. It doesn't matter if you have to give up your pride, or your thinking you know what's right or what's best. maybe they have a point - a big point.
Whatever you do, don't wallow in negative grumps or sulks, just surrender gracefully. Every time you do this, it will take less and less time, in the next situation.

Check out this video that was banned on Youtube

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151875403860775

The importance of foloow through

When you make a plan

do it daily!
Don't kid yourself that sometimes it's okay to not do it.
The plan for success works on the regular build up of motivation, consolidating new beliefs and practices.
So don't dilly dally, don't be untruthful to yourself,
DO IT.

The willingness to change - to get out of your comfort zone

Is it possible that you are not successful yet, because you don't want to get out of your comfort zone? Maybe you think with the logical part of your brain that you want to achieve goal X, but maybe you would have to get off your butt and do some work for it, daily. Maybe you would have to confront that old fear you've been carrying around forever - that you're afraid of speaking your mind for fear someone will ridicule you or what you say. But that's what you have to do if you want to achieve the goal that you've said you want to achieve. So perhaps you're working at loggerheads with yourself? One part wanting it, and the other part telling yourself regularly that you'd have to become someone other than who you are at present. And then telling yourself, that that's too scary.
The truth is, you do have to take on different aspects of yourself in order to have a different life. It simply wouldn't be possible without this willingness to change.

Feedback

Be grateful if you partner tells you that you made an awful face when she was talking about someone.
You didn't really realise that you hated the idea or the person that much.
So this is feedback that is worth saying sorry for, if you love her.

Be grateful for being stuck!

Being stuck and then unstuck can move you on  

It's amazing how finding oneself in different places can be beneficial.

Even if you're stuck, it can be a place to move onwards from. And moving onwards is what you want.

Sometimes a plateau can move you into a position of seeing something happening in your life from a different perspective. And that may have been exactly what you needed and at exactly the right timing, so you can access your higher self for further insights.

So therefore, we can be grateful for being stuck!

Funny isn't it?

Need any help? Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64221604201 

Online help with control and success

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/08/16/the-queen-monarch-of-12-countries-where-being-gay-can-land-you-in-prison/2/

We were talking about controlling people's sexuality and how that is a perfect way for controlling the people. How right that is!
If you follow the link above, you'll see that there are still countries purportedly under the rule of our wonderful Queen (bless her cotton socks) where it is still illegal to be gay and where this way of sexuality is cause for being thrown into prison.
May we all try and have as much control over our sexuality as possible.
And please try not to internalise the hatred that sometimes is prevalent in society.
When hatred comes from all the media, your family, your peers and  in fact everywhere you look, it does not mean that you have to take it on board. I know it is a huge challenge to throw it off and to find a space of quiet and self love.
You can do it.
Your life is in your hands. The control is yours to take.
If you need help then contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or +64221604201
 

Success over doubts

How to get beyond doubts

Doubts are about fears from the past.
And usually they are fears of failures that have happened to you in the past.
Your mind remembers these fears.
You were trying really hard to be successful, but you kept on getting failures.
These failures were caused by your own self doubt and lack of self confidence.
But this is NOT a reflection on you, it is a reflection on your mind and it's memories. Your subconscious repertoire of failures and doubts has been causing this problem.
When you decide you are really this time going to be successful with your goals and projects, you need to be absolutely ruthless with your manifesting efforts.
All doubts must be cast aside and not entertained even for a second. When your mind is completely focussed on your goal without a doubt knowing it will happen, then you are clearly on the path to success.
What of course this all means is to know what your old beliefs about your capabilities are, and CHANGE them.
Let go of the past you, give the old you up.
Embrace the new free you with love, abundance and gratitude.
Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or +64221604201 for online help with planning to achieve success.

What are you prepared to do to support others?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/02/german-drag-queen-sews-mouth-shut-russia_n_3695601.html?ir=Gay%20Voices&utm_campaign=080213&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-gay-voices&utm_content=Title

This clip shows the courage and absolute desperate determination for LGBTI people in this German drag queen's self sewn lips to protest the Russian anti-gay stuff. Such courage girl!

What to do when you are feeling stressed

Stress is the biggest contributor of illness.
So when you are stressed, then it's important to ask yourself some questions like:
Have you taken on too much?
Are you feeling overwhelmed ?
Do you have too many deadlines to meet in a short time?
Have you left things to the last minute?
Did you miscalculate something because you weren't paying attention?
Were you putting your head in the sand and pretending the problem would go away?
Were you putting a lot of energy into negative thoughts?
Were you simply not giving yourself enough rest?

If you answer yes to any of the above, then it could be worthwhile you doing a stock take. After all, stress and illness are a great source of feedback and information we need. We experience this in our bodies to understand where we need to redirect our energies.

So like I say, whenever you feel stressed out of your mind, ask yourself the above questions. Do you have any other questions that would be good to add?

Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or +64221604201

You can have all the success you want!

You deserve success

You know when you have forgiven yourself for feeling undeserving, you are on your way to success and abundance

 It is totally okay for you to have all the abundance success and health and fun that you want. This does not detract from anyone else's abundance.
There is an infinite amount for us all.
believe in yourself and your connection to the Universe and gratitude and your deservability.
Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com  

How to have freedom is to know how to take responsibility

Freedom is the willingness to move within and without the boundaries in your life.
Freedom is about a determination to be happy (and free) even if the psychological barriers are great. For example, if you are 80 years old, there are certain barriers that if you can rise up against, you will be free. If you are sick and old then those barriers would be huge.
If you were brought up in poverty then those limiting factors would be the psychological barriers that you would have to face.
If you were born black, a woman, queer, these are all huge boundaries to overcome in order to be happy.
The only way to be on the ladder to freedom is to be responsible for who you are, to make decisions as they come up and to do so with as much joy as you can muster and without trying to control every little thing in your life. It is about permission to be happy no matter what.
Pretty tall order, and it's a challenge, but that's life!
Need help, then contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64221604201 

Help for how to shift anxiety and depression

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/08/10/comment-a-gay-man-writes-about-anxiety-and-depression-caused-by-religious-homophobia/
Comment: A gay man writes about anxiety and depression caused by religious homophobia.

It is almost a natural thing to internalise hatred when it is presented to a child/adolescent, especially by people who are in a position of authority/love. The groups who most influence a person's internalised beliefs are the parents, siblings, peers, schools and churches or any other institutions in close proximity.

So if you are one of those people who has taken on board other people's hatred of queers and this has caused you a lot of depression, despair and self harm, then now is the time to know that that could be changed. You don't have to stay in this horrible state.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and there is help available.
Contact me on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64 221604201

Online help to manage stress - have a plan

Have a plan to manage stress rather than be controlled by stress

First, you need to understand the importance of managing stress.
Stress is a naturally occurring challenge in life and we either react to it in anger/fear OR  respond to it consciously each time.
It is our choice, but until you realise that the trigger may be conditioned from the past you cannot reprogram.
And reprogramming is what you need to do.
You really don't want to put your body through damaging stress each time you lose the keys for the car, are late for an appointment, or even can't find the food you were after in the supermarket.
These are hardly life threatening situations and yet your body reacts as if it were.
This fight/flight instinct thing is still with us and we can manage that if we only understand how it works.
Contact Ruth for further information on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or +64221604201
  

You say you want this thing to manifest but have you given yourself permission to have this thing?

You say you want a partner but have you told yourself deep down that you're not ready?

You have to give yourself permission, you have to take responsibility for having the thing you want, you have to debunk your adolescent self telling you that you're not ready or not deserving enough, you have to take control and tell yourself (a bit like a parent would) that yes, you can it.
You are ready, you are prepared and you are expectant with gratitude.
check out my website for further information http://www.inchargelifecoachingonline.com

Online help with how to value success

How to value success

Success is obviously really important to us, but let us look at the way we value success.
It is important to differentiate between a valuing system that says that something is worthwhile, to a system that says that something is good or bad.
When we say success is good and failure is bad, this devalues failure and elevates success into a crazy position.
The idea is to see the good in everything, including failure.
Failure is worthwhile for its feedback, remember?
So try to think of success as worthwhile and a great pursuit, rather than totally good, meaning the opposite of bad.
 

How a hard choice became an easy one

I knew I wanted to sell up so I had to demolish the aviary at the back where I had bred budgies! And that meant I had to sell a whole lot of birds, which was sad for me. However because I'd made that decision to sell, I knew I had to sell the budgies and downsize otherwise I'd never be out of here.
So I did!
The hard decision became an easy one because I was looking at the complete picture!
Try not to be attached to something familiar as it may not last.
remember, everything is impermanent.
 

Online help with how to not achieve success

You want success?

Then you need to move away from illness, from a feeling of alienation, from a feeling of failure.
Whenever you find yourself in these positions though, give thanks, because here you can find answers.
The feedback your reality is giving you is within the illness, within the sense of alienation, within the kind of failure.
Ask yourself what messages your Higher self is sending you? Answer the questions that this brings up, and answer them honestly.
Then make plans for action to reprogram your beliefs and attitudes so you can once again be in charge of your life.
Do you think this could work? Or do you need help?
When you are looking for help with plans, contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com

Do you want to know how to achieve success online? Confidential help here!

Success is:

• moving towards health
• moving towards enjoyment of life
• moving towards freedom
• knowing to give thanks for your success in advance
• explore your reality with expectancy and trust
• pursue some kind of spirituality
• take responsibility for your life
• make informed choices and decisions
• know how to have fun
• being conscious

 

 

Contact Ruth for further information at inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or Skype ichargelifecoaching100 or ph +64211604201

Online help with gaining self confidence

• Be aware of why you want self confidence
• Be aware that self confidence is about trust, humility, hope and courage
• develop self love 
• Use this technique. Think of a situation around which you want to be confident. Ask the questions What is the payoff for not being confident? What does my young adolescent say?  Answer them and visualise it happening.

Checkout my website http://www.inchargelifecoachingonline.com

help the world destroy the anti-gay movement

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/08/07/obama-i-have-no-patience-for-russias-anti-gay-laws/

Obama has come out in opposition to anti-gay lobbying.
He says that even in some of the African countries which are also anti-gay, some of the conferences are a little uncomfortable!

Online help with how to grow Self Confidence

Without self confidence, you are a nobody, going from situation to situation without any real direction and not getting the best out of yourself or the Universe.
But you can change all that.
I know, I used to be there!
When you start trusting yourself, trusting that you have a right to be here, trusting that you have a place in the world and a part to play: that you are no accident, then you are starting to grow self confidence.
When you start being willing to look at old situations with new eyes; when you start seeing possibilities in the present, you are moving towards Self Confidence.
When you take courage in your hands and do something you want to do even though it fills you with fear, then you are moving towards Self Confidence.
When you start seeing the person you're sitting next to at the train station or the supermarket as a real person first, and then as a creation of your perception, then you are growing Self Confidence.
Would you like to contact me on some help with me. Simply go to the Contact Me button on my website http://www.inchargelifecoachingonline.com and fill out your details. I will get back to you ASAP.
Thanks for reading this, and have a lovely day!

Letting go is a choice

When you let go a piece of rubbish to the bin, when you let go a donation to charity, when you let go a hug to another person, when you let go an old wound, when you let go a friend, when you let go an old car......... it is always a choice.
Essentially there is nothing different between letting go a piece of rubbish and an old would or hurt.
In fact both are rubbish and they clog the system.
Your job is to identify the rubbish, choose what you don't want, and chuck it.
Easier said than done?
The thing is to know how to do it.
Okay so with rubbish, you decide whether it's recyclable or organic or not either. That if fact it is RUBBISH. And you act accordingly.
So if it's a hurt, you decide whether it's good for recycling, whether it's organic and you need to break it down a bit more, or whether it's just plain RUBBISH.
If it is rubbish, then you need to cut it off from the source, and chuck it!
So when you can see that the old hurt is just dragging you down, put it in a bag and explode it or chuck it into space!
Try something radical today by contacting Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or skype inchargelifecoaching100.

Why do we believe that shyness is okay?

Shyness is about lack of confidence
and lack of confidence is about lack.
It is about thinking you aren't good enough, that you're not worth it and that you can't help it.
Shyness is about thinking that that's the way you are! And not only that, but that's the way you are going to stay.
We have been brainwashed into thinking that we have no choice, because, yes you've got it! That's the way we are.
Well, I was wrong too. I used to think that just because I was shy, I couldn't do anything about it.
I used to hide behind all sorts of people so I wouldn't be confronted by anything much. I kept myself in a cocoon. I even used to cross the road so I wouldn't have to talk to someone I knew and I'd spotted ( but they hadn't yet spotted me).
It seems incredible to think of all this now, but then, it was very real, and painful with it. After a while,I started  thinking that I was missing out on all the good things in life and I would make myself say things and do things. I soon realised that it is a choice!
Shyness and lacking in self confidence is a choice!
This is great news, because it means you can change your choice.
What that means, is being conscious of what you choose every second of every day!
Hard work? Yes, but it's worth it.
Contact me for a plan to get yourself choosing self confidence all the time.
inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph NZ 221604201, Skype inchargelifecoaching100

You are your worst enemy

I used to puzzle over this, I mean how could I be my worst enemy, after all, I was with me all day, and I thought I was my best friend.
Well, the answer to that is, you are your best friend but also your worst enemy.
This would explain why the hardest person to forgive is yourself.
For a start, you have to acknowledge that you've "done yourself wrong" which is pretty weird.
I recently met someone who spent every morning on awakening , in telling herself that she was such a bad person because she hadn't known how she could have stopped her Aunty from losing a particular mattress that had been lent  out to someone in the family. The woman concerned would tell herself that she should have known what had happened so she could have saved her Aunty all that angst over the wherabouts of this particular mattress!
Our needless criticism of ourselves could go a long way towards providing peace of mind.
All she really had to do was forgive herself and tell herself that it was okay that she hadn't known, and that it was not her responsibility.
Forgive and move on!
I know this is an absurd story, but don't we get really upset for some stupid reasons? Of course they don't appear so at the time.
Want some help with unravelling yourself?
Email Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or phone +64221604201

What is the relationship between surrender and control?

I used to think control was the way to go. To always be in control of every little situation in my entire life, which meant that basically I built a wall around myself to protect myself from feeling anything.
I didn,t want to let go control, because I had been taught that that was weak, and if you were weak, then you would fall.
This wall of control around myself was pretty high and pretty thick, and then one day it fell... of course.
I used to think I was pretty cool and tough and that nothing could phase me.
After the wall fell, and I surrendered, I realised that the wall of control had not only kept me in the delusion that I was in control, and had protected me from feeling anything, it had also contributed to me not thinking as well.
Now I understand surrender to be about the necessity of letting go control, of stopping thinking that I had to do everything myself.
Surrender is absolutely essential to understanding Love and Trust. It is another aspect to making sure you are in control of your emotions, your thoughts, even though it doesn't seem possible and sounds contradictory.
Surrender is about being in control and not controlling.
It is about being open to the universe's Goodness and about acknowledging your part and only your part ( not the whole) in the unfolding of events.
What do you think about that?
Do you have trouble with being in control, rather than controlling?
Do you want some help?
If the answer is yes, then simply drop Ruth and email on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or phone +64 221604201

Is you brain shut down ?

We often don't think so, but we always have preconceptions of ideas and thoughts which we take with us into a room, into a book, into a TV show, into a conversation.
These preconceptions are hard to dislodge unless you are conscious of this filter that you are automatically using when you are with new information. In other words, if you can go into a situation with an open mind, then you will get to hear and see more accurately what is presented to you.
Checkout this video below of an interview between a reporter and a Muslim scholar and professor of religion who has just written a book on Jesus.
http://www.upworthy.com/a-muslim-scholar-wrote-a-book-about-jesus-watch-a-confused-newscasters-brain-shut-down?c=upw1