What is the relationship between surrender and control?

I used to think control was the way to go. To always be in control of every little situation in my entire life, which meant that basically I built a wall around myself to protect myself from feeling anything.
I didn,t want to let go control, because I had been taught that that was weak, and if you were weak, then you would fall.
This wall of control around myself was pretty high and pretty thick, and then one day it fell... of course.
I used to think I was pretty cool and tough and that nothing could phase me.
After the wall fell, and I surrendered, I realised that the wall of control had not only kept me in the delusion that I was in control, and had protected me from feeling anything, it had also contributed to me not thinking as well.
Now I understand surrender to be about the necessity of letting go control, of stopping thinking that I had to do everything myself.
Surrender is absolutely essential to understanding Love and Trust. It is another aspect to making sure you are in control of your emotions, your thoughts, even though it doesn't seem possible and sounds contradictory.
Surrender is about being in control and not controlling.
It is about being open to the universe's Goodness and about acknowledging your part and only your part ( not the whole) in the unfolding of events.
What do you think about that?
Do you have trouble with being in control, rather than controlling?
Do you want some help?
If the answer is yes, then simply drop Ruth and email on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or phone +64 221604201