Do you know how much power there is in the words you choose

When you use words and phrases like I'm afraid it won't be done on time, or I,m angry that this window got broken, you are creating a whole of stress around you , not only for your body but for anyone else around you at the time.
Why don't you ask yourself why you are really feeling it?
Perhaps it's something to do with an unresolved situation from the past. Is it really to do with you being fearful that the job won't be done on time? Is it a life or death situation?
And what about when you are angry? Is it really that bad that you have to fight it?
Try giving yourself a moment before you put yourself through this stress.

Being mindful of your thoughts

http://gittefalkenberg.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/the-7-natural-laws-of-the-universe/
The Law of Polarity states that everything has an opposite. Hot-Cold, Light-Dark, Up-Down, Good-Bad. In the absence of that which you are not, that which you are… is not. Polar opposites make existence possible. If what you are not didn’t coexist with what you are, then what you are could not be. Therefore, do not condemn or criticize what you are not or what you don’t want. How to apply it: Look for the good in people and situations. What you focus on, you make bigger in your life.

So when you spend a lot of time focusing on particular thoughts, they will become bigger. 
This is good to know because when you focus on negativity you know that the negativity will get bigger. But the best part is when you focus on positive thoughts, they too get to be more and bigger.
So if you have pain, try not to focus on it, focus on the wholeness of your body.
If you have something good happen in your life, focus on it and it too will get bigger.
Remember the gratitude as well!
Gosh there's a lot to remember, when you are paying attention and being mindful. 

acceptance

Acceptance is about stopping resistance or struggle to something or someone. It is about accepting the reality of a situation, that what is, is.
This way is about not creating struggle or upsets or tornados in your mind about this something or someone, and about not resisting it. It is just so.
It is acceptance when you seek NOT to change a situation or person.
It is also about finding the lesson for it.
If you have thought to yourself that you had wanted your child to be a strong individual, clear of purpose and mind and that she has turned out differently, then you must accept that. You cannot change her or the dramas she creates around herself.
There is no point in getting involved in her dramas for they feed off each other and get worse.
What is the lesson here for you?
I believe it is about acceptance, to let go of anger and control over the situation and to live in the present, knowing that any moment things could change for your daughter, but right now they are where they are.
This is truly acceptance, not only of the situation but also of yourself.
Your power lies in being in the present, being grounded and fully in yourself.
Your power does not lie in judgements of your daughter.
Try it and see how peaceful you feel.
Otherwise if you want help then email Ruth at inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64221604201

Are you stopping yourself from being the best you can be?

Have you found that society hates you because you're  Jewish, because you're LGBTI , you're too young or too old, because you're black, because you're a woman, because you're too big as a woman or too short as a man, because you're not beautiful or because you are different and don't fit into the mold?
Maybe society doesn't hate you exactly, but doesn't favour you either.
I was recently talking to someone who was describing himself as a potshot at small bore rifle shooting and how when he was 18 or so he'd go to the club and with no practice whatsover, he'd just shoot the bull out of the bull's eye. He always got it and of course loved it, but the other members of the club hated it and always sought to put him down and make sure he would never enter any important competition.
So to be too good is a problem for society as well!
The thing  is that when you internalise society's hatred for your difference, you become filled with shame guilt and or embarrassment.
The trick is not to take it on board.
The trick is to remember that it is their problem, not yours.
The trick is to remember that  you are a great human being, you are worth a lot and it is a form of self hatred to take on board society's stuff about you.
If you would like some help with this, then email me at inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201

Trust

Trust is the key that unlocks expectancy
and expectancy is one of the keys that unlocks the manifestation of one's desires.
Does that sound like gobbeldy gook?
Trust in yourself and in your working for the greater good and life will manifest as you want it to.
Try it today.
And don't forget consistency!

Do you wish you could speak?

How often do you speak out if you are present when some injustice happens?
Or even if you hear about it?
Do you make a point of giving your point of view or do you let the majority say what it pleases?
And how do you feel afterwards?
Do you wish you would speak out just this once, but you feel so awfully uncomfortable and your tongue's all twisted and your mouth's all dry and you just can't get the words out?
Perhaps you could think about your importance for a moment and stop thinking about yourself.
Perhaps you could think that you do have impact on the world and in fact you do have a responsibility to speak out.
I know this is really hard for those of us who think we are shy.
I used to think that.
But I tell you what, duckie, it's a waste of time, and it lets you hide behind this label and not have any fun.
If you want some help in learning to accept yourself and loving yourself enough to speak and know you are a worthwhile human being, contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201

acceptance

If you want absolute love from others and the universe, your first responsibility is to accept yourself.
The more you accept yourself, the more others accept you.
The more you accept yourself,the more in tune with the universe you are.
And the more you are in tune with the Universe, the more things work out well.
If you totally accept yourself, then it follows that you totally accept your children for who they are; you totally accept each of your siblings for who they are; and of course you totally accept your parents and so on throughout the extended whanau.
We aren't really right of wrong, we are simply different.
So think about that acceptance and ask yourself that question.
Do you totally accept yourself?
When you make a mistake, or don't listen well, or do something stupid, do you beat yourself up for 1 second,1 minute, 10 minutes or days?
We all make mistakes and we make them so we can learn and grow and become better and better human beings of love.
You are a great person you know!
If you need some help in sorting out this self acceptance stuff, then contact me on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201

Check your thoughts and details often

Well I've just been alerted to the fact to check my thoughts for positivism and also for details! from my dear mentor Phil.
I've looked and seen that I hadn't activated the Comments in settings with this blogsite. So yeah, here we go. If anyone wishes to comment on my lack of attention to detail they are most welcome!
I wish you would. 

Are you making sure your thoughts are positive?

When you wake in the morning, the thoughts that are running around in your head are the ones that come directly from your subconscious.
If those thoughts are grateful thoughts and thoughts looking forward to the adventures of the day, then you are a wonderful positive person.
If however your thoughts are all grumpy and blaming and ungrateful about something or other , then you need to make a choice about whether you want to stay with this negativity or decide to clear your mind and tell it positive things to think.
It is not that you are necessarily a grumpy shit, but that these thoughts have been allowed to remain in your subconscious, hidden from your sight.
I am not suggesting that you feel bad about this negativity, but that these thoughts may have been there since childhood when you as the child, as the sponge, just simply took them on board as your own.
However they got there, now is the time to clear them out.
Now is the time to take responsibility for your thoughts!
It is never too late!
Even if you are 93 and reading this, it's not too late!
I can help you. Please contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201.
Thanks.

Is it cause or is it effect when you say you have no money?

I know I used to believe that the reason my life was so poor was because I had no money, and that I couldn't really do anything about that was because, well, I had no money!
It always seemed to come back to money or lack of it.
What a bore!
After a while, life became more and more boring and then I got depressed and then I couldn't think straight and then everything went wrong and before I knew it, my life was one bloody great mess!
Argh!
And then of course there's the shame and embarrassment of it all, and that triples the pain, doesn't it?
I'm not telling you this so you feel sorry for me, but so that you know it's possible for you to move on as well.
I studied the Laws of the universe
The Law of Cause and Effect states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Every cause has an effect, and every effect has a cause. Be at cause for what you desire, and you will get the effect. All thought is creative, so be careful what you wish for… you will get it. How to apply it: Consistently think and act on what you desire to be effective at getting it.
http://gittefalkenberg.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/the-7-natural-laws-of-the-universe/
I studied those laws and realised that I had been wrong all the time. My lack of riches was about me having a lack mentality and not a rich mentality. My lack of riches was the effect, not the cause of all my problems!
Wow, what an eyeopener all this is.
Need some help sorting out your riches problems? Plans are good.
Contact me on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201

Do you know the basic reason why you want what you want?

For a start, are you sure you know why you want what you say you want?
Okay you say, sure I know why I want to win $100,000.
I want it to be able to buy a house.
So why do you want  to buy a house?
Well I want to buy a house in a city so I have good opportunities for work.
Why do you want to work?
Well I want to be able to help people and living so far out means it's just not possible to get to all those people.
Ah, so you want to win the $100,000 so you can help people.
Well that does make sense, but couldn't you just rent a house in the city and help people?
Yes I could, but eventually I wouldn't be able to pay the rent because it is so high and I am getting older and don't have exponential opportunity for jobs.
So really it's better if I can buy the house outright, then I can focus on helping people, and not focus on getting poor jobs as I am at the moment.
Ah so you really want to win the $100,000 so you can help people.

This process of whittling down the real  reason is extremely beneficial, because it puts your request to the Universe in basic terms and gives you the feeling of gratitude and expectancy that are essential to manifesting your desires.
Things have a habit of multiplying when you have a habit of appreciation!

You have impact

Whatever you think,
whatever you say,
whatever you do,
whatever you decide,
has impact.
Whatever you refuse to look at and think about,
whatever you think but don't say,
has impact.
Whenever you don't make a decision,
it has impact.
Scary eh?
Think about this and ask yourself if these statements above are true for you?
Or are they true but only for others?
Or aren't they true at all?

I used to think that I didn't matter, that whatever I said didn't make a difference and that there was no point in making a decision about anything, there was always someone stronger who would override my decision.
In other words, I was a victim, of my own thoughts as much as anything.

How about you? Leave a comment about this post so I can get back to you. You don't have to give your name in the comment. Don't be shy!

Have you congratulated yourself?

Have you congratulated yourself on how well you've done today?
It's important to give yourself tasks to accomplish over the day, not only so you have goals for each day, but so you feel fulfilled and ready to tackle the next day of your life. this of course means you need to have goals in your life, however small, however simple, and whatever they are about doesn't matter. What matters is to have them.
Yesterday I did nothing much, but on my agenda I had resting, finishing the Wally Lamb massive book, looking at how to implement a new way of eating and only certain foods, cooking a relevant dish, and painting a bit more on my painting.
It's important to be happy and you can make yourself happy by having goals and achieving them. If you don't achieve them by the specified time, carry them over to the next day. Still congratulate yourself on what you've achieved and plan for more tomorrow.
But please make sure you tell yourself how well you've done. In this way you are reinforcing the system of goals that you have set for yourself. And things will go well.
Needing help or guidance with goals? Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail or phone +64 211604201

Are you afraid of yourself?

Are you afraid of the justified anger you feel within, that sometimes erupts as a slow moving volcano?
Are you afraid that you won't be just to those around you, when something hasn't been resolved from the past? And when you feel that justified anger you are afraid that the anger will just out itself to someone you love? and then you'll be sorry?
I was once in that same position.I was raped a long time ago, but the anger simmered inside me and was clouding the way I saw the world. I would often feel anger towards other,s situations where justice had not been met and in situations which seemed to have nothing to do with anything.
Now i am happy to say that I have changed that anger into energy to help others. If you want some help with this, please contact me on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ph +64211604201

Are you afraid you are stressed out?

Do you know why you're stressed? Is it because you have too much on, is it because your relationship sucks, is it because you've just lost your job?  is it because you don't have enough money?
There are so many reasons why someone could be stressed and that's because life has heaps of things going on.
When you are stressed and your hair is falling out or you want to tear your hair out or someone elses's hair out, or you want to damage something, ask yourself why you feel so angry, so sad, so frustrated, so anxious.
If you can find an answer to this, and usually it's what comes to the top of your head when you don't think too carefully, then you can do something about it.
Often there will be a deep cause for stress. It could be something that has been dogging you for your entire life and is finally catching up with you, it could have been festering like a wound. On the other hand it could be about an attitude you have to life - maybe you think life isn't fair and you're always getting hit on. Maybe it's something traumatic that has happened ( or happened years ago) and your body still carries it. Maybe you are being controlled by your family, or maybe you've simply overcommitted yourself because you always want to be busy, so you don't have to look at the mess your life is in.
Whatever it is, when you find the answer as to why the stress, then you can ask yourself another question, and that is, can I change it?
You will find there are always solutions to problems, there are always options.
When you need some help with this, please contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or +64 221604201

Are you afraid of your eating?

Are you afraid of the amount you eat?
Are you afraid you're a bit fat? Are you afraid that you suddenly find yourself grossly overweight?
Are you afraid that you've discovered that you are eating and then throwing up?
Are you out of control with your eating and you're hiding it and all those feelings like guilt and shame?
Are you scared shitless of some dark secret?
It's hard to keep a secret though, isn't it, because it's an awful burden to carry around with you everywhere. It's there when you go to sleep at night and there again when you wake up. In fact it's controlling you and making you do things that you in your heart of hearts you don't really want to, do you?
Sometimes you just can't stand it, can you? You want to scream and scream or you want to end it all. Go on, admit it.
You aren't alone in that.
But the good news is that it doesn't have to be like that. You can be in control rather than your eating controlling you.
Would you like to be free and feel wonderful and powerful, and do the things that you know would be so great for you and that maybe you've been longing to do for ages, but it's that problem that keeps getting in the way.
When you want some help and guidance in how to make a plan to deal with this, then contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or ring +64211604201
Don't despair, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know, I've been in that tunnel.

Are you afraid to change?

Most of us have grave doubts about change. We would rather have the familiar, what we already know how to do, the route to go remaining the same, the routine of it all so we don't have to think, the same old stuff. Most of us seem to carry around a great tiredness, which is all that baggage we have carried around for years. The fact that we haven't really got much money, or the fact that we are getting fat, or the fact that we don't even really like ourselves anymore (or maybe never did) or the fact that we really are sick of that old crap... we still would rather stay the same.
But let me tell you it IS possible to change, to get beyond the fear and do it. I know, I've been there!
What you have to do is decide, that you want to, and then to get strategies sorted to make it happen.
You have to act!
To change those old brain patterns a good way is to meditate and go to your Alpha brain wave state and feed in new thoughts and visions. These days, this is called brain entrainment but is based on the old drum beats of primeval man that got people into different states so they could achieve amazing feats. You don't have to become a shaman but you could check this out!
If you need help with changing some of your old patterns and habits, and want to change and go places, contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com

Connection between failure and success

Most of us think that failure is at one end and success at exactly the opposite end, on a long thin tightrope. But no, I don't believe it necessarily is. Let's look at this model or view of success. You start at failure and end up at success? No? You start at step 1 and you become successful at that, then you move on to step 2 and become successful at that, and move on until you achieve where you actually wanted to go. So your ability to be successful is to safely negotiate each stage/step with success. What about in between , where maybe you falter a little, and it takes you two steps forward and one back before you get to the next stepping stone? Is this called failure, or simply part of the path toward success?
Sometimes there a thousand steps in between step 1 and the goal, so perhaps it is important to consider that each step is exactly that - a way forward. But a way forward sometimes has obstacles and you have to go around or sometimes you miss your footing and have to do it again. Sometimes you even have to take a detour. But this is still success, and when we label it failure it can frighten the hell out of us. We label it failure and we become failures in our mind's eye.
So let's remember to label our successes and failures correctly.
If you view success/failure as a never-ending cycle track of moving forward, moving back, it's a circuit and the view you have of yourself riding the bike is never one of failure... it is simply of moving onward. You can't really ride a bicycle backwards. Which reminds me, I saw The Lone Ranger last night and saw the heroine riding backwards. But it was the ranger who was controlling the ride. I noticed also, that she didn't stay for very long in the saddle, sitting backwards. It's just not very possible.
And so it is with success - you can't really go backwards. you are going forwards and you are going over the bumps which we call failures. Isn't that neat?
Let me know if you need some help with this. Contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com  for immediate support.

Need help to help yourself pill

Isn't it a pity you can't just take a pill to help yourself?
Well you can actually, but it's called making a decision pill. You need to make a decision about helping yourself. There is no miracle cure from outside of you to put you back on track, there is nothing outside you that will do it for you completely. But once you've made that decision then there is all sorts of help. I know that the first thing here is to admit that you need help. It took me years to discover that, and when I did, the help wasn't about what I thought it was going to be about. When I had RSI in both my arms and couldn't do anything with them, I got help with the arms, but it turned out the help I really needed was with my mind.
The second decision or understanding you need to make is about the fact your'e worth making a big effort for. in other words, don't kid yourself into thinking that you're not really important, you're only a little pebble on the sands. Well you are, but a little pebble can make big ripples.
So once you've made those two decisions, then you are ready to roll. Then you need to develop some skills and strategies for changing your mindset.
Let me help you with that and you won't be disappointed. Contact me on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com or 64221604201

Banish doubt

Whenever you let a little seed of doubt in, it will grow like the weeds grow around your house. It is only if you have concrete around you completely that no weeds will grow and even then they can grow through the cracks. have you noticed?
It is the same with doubt, don't let it in. Keep weeding it out and keep those positive thoughts flowing and imaging for your success story and lo one day it will manifest. Hold that thought and that image strongly in your mind and you will achieve! Contact Ruth if you'd like some online help with that at inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com

Do you feel unsupported?

Do you sometimes feel unsupported? When you are low and you want to reach out to other people, what about considering reaching out to the Universal Consciousness, to a connection with All that is? I don't mean religiously, because some people do that and that's fine. I mean reach out to all the Wisdom of the Ages, to something beyond yourself, and something beyond humanity as well. Support can be acquired through a meditative practice where you can ask for an image to come to your mind's eye, an image of a supportive hero or figure or symbol ( an archetype) who can guide you, support you, encourage you in your every living moment.
It helps you feel gratitude, it makes you bigger than who you were without it, and it is a wonderful benign presence that is with you through thick and thin. 

Relationship competition

Are you in a relationship where you seem to be competing for how badly, how nastily you can be to each other? Are you in relationship where you try to hurt the other as much as possible because you don't think that they really love you, or love you enough?
What are you getting out of it? Are you getting some kind of connection but it's the negative one and it's not really the one you want?
Don't you really want that ideal partner, who loves you through thick and thin who understands you and praises you when you are successful, and encourages you to take challenges and supports you when you are feeling low?
You can have all these things, if only you could unravel the tangled mess of emotions that have caught you and your partner up in a great knot of confusion, blame, anger, sadness and misunderstandings.
they can be unravelled when you start to think that you can choose your emotions. You can choose whether to be happy or sad, you can choose to work from love or from hurt. You can choose to be in control rather than be out of control. You can choose love over fear. You can be vulnerable and still be strong. You can be loving and still be independent.
You can have it all.
If you want some further insights into how to go about this, then contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com

Why is it easier to stay depressed than do something about it?

Why does it seem easier to stay with depression than do something about it?
I say seem because it isn't actually easier.. Depression takes up a helluva lot of time and energy. It's a bit like a bad friend. They demand a lot of you but only return heartache.
Not only that, but to stay with depression, means no-one has to know what's really going on, even you don't have to know. On the outside you might appear perfectly successful even calm and happy,whereas inside you might be in turmoil.
And you can still pretend to yourself that those unresolved issues, those betrayals and rejections, that anger, that abuse didn't really happen to you. If you don't think about them then, you'd be blocking them out, right? Also if you keep yourself busy enough then you really don't have the time or space to even acknowledge their presence. Yes, you do block them out from your conscious mind, but not from your subconscious, which is where they all multiply like little rabbits.
Ruth, Life Coach is now available for consultations to help with depression.
All this can happen from the comfort of your own home with Skype, emails, live chat or a mixture.
Just send an email to inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com. Do it now before you lose heart.

Processing information

It's okay if you are the kind of person that absorbs new information over time. Some of us need that time to have passed between presentation of the new information, absorption of the new information and then being able to figure out your responses to that information, as well as the consequences of it all.
When you are in a room of people, and all (but you) process information fast, don't let damage your self esteem. Simply know that you need to take your time.
Some of us simply are different and it's okay.

Dreaded despair, depression and drugs

Why is it so hard to escape this awful stuff?
They go together, the three of them . If you feel despair long enough, it becomes depression, and taking drugs is one way of getting a little relief from this cycle. Or alcohol.
Despair is when you feel totally hopeless and powerless either because of something that's happened in the near present, like loss of a job, grief over a partner's death/rejection. It could also be a long existing feeling which has become a fulltime presence, because of something that happened years and years ago when you were a kid and you've never quite been able to get over it. You may have even thought  you were responsible.
But now you feel despair because it punishes you and that makes you feel good somehow. By feeling despair, you don't have to take responsibility for the present, you can just live in the depths of despair and not care. You can punish others who love you with it too, can't you?
Depression is the accumulation of grief and anger over something that you cannot let go of, over something that is totally controlling your mind, and has been for years.
How can you get over it?
First you need to ask yourself  "How is despair serving you? "
I know you think this is an idiot question to ask, but if you want to get over something that's strong, you have to be stronger.
So do you want to be stronger than your despair?
If the answer is yes, then
What IS the answer to "What is despair/depression giving you?"
If you can answer that, then you've started the process of eliminating it from your life.
Congratulations!
When you have that answer, contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com and she will help you through the rest.
First session free. 

Choices

Do you sometimes wish you didn't have to make a choice?
So you put it off, you hedge your bets, you say I don't know, you say it doesn't really matter one way or another. You say you don't mind if you have tea or coffee, you say you really don't care, you say it really won't make any difference.
This my friend is an illusion.
Every choice you make, and every choice you don't make, has impact.
Every choice AND every "not making a choice" is ACTION.
And every action makes a difference to you, and to the world.
So Duckie, don't pretend.
When you say nothing, you are really saying plenty.
When you don't make a choice, you are choosing the status quo.
So be strong, be stubborn, stick your neck out and LIVE.
Needing help? Then contact Ruth on inchargelifecoaching@gmail.com 

Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?

Thanks to Dr Zeuss who says
And you're so so lucky you are not a left sock, left behind by mistake in the Kaverns of Krock!
Thank goodness for all of the things you are not!
That's why I say,
"   Duckie! Don't stew! Some critters are much-much oh, ever so much-much, so muchly, much-much more
    unlucky than you! "
It's only a kid's book, but it's well worth the read for those of us that need reminding. Thanks Dr Zeuss.